I have been meaning to create a blog for years now.
I want to create dialogue around the things that I find important; art, poetry, philosophy, environmentalism, the list goes on. I want to create a space for learning and growth. A blog as a platform to share writings, poems, drawings, and other artworks. I imagine this blog as a living extension of my art, and a way to create collaborative pieces. In the past, every time the idea sprouted, the usual stumbling blocks got in the way; I was too busy working, taking classes, or felt generally uninspired. I was beginning to forget my goal of creating and maintaining a blog. Then 2020 happened.
I was determined to make 2020 my year- and at first, it seemed to be. I had begun to catch my rhythm in my MFA program at the San Francisco Art Institute. Under the influence of the amazing artists and professors surrounding me, my practice had become more thoughtful, researched, and impactful. I was elected to be one of three graduate students who make up and represent the graduate student government, and I was working as part of the graduate operations team. But like so many others in the world, my year was about to take a nosedive.
Even before COVID-19 hit the United States, disaster struck. SFAI, the oldest art institute west of the Mississippi, was in the midst of a fatal financial crisis. The school announced its extreme debt and what followed would best be described as an exercise in insanity. SFAI transformed from an art institution into a sadistic circus from hell, with its opaque board members assuming the role of the ringleader. The full story of SFAI’s Fall in Spring of 2020 is far too long and juicy to do justice in this post— but rest assured, its story will be told.
In the middle of our school’s swan song, San Francisco— like most decent and intelligent communities in the United States— implemented a city-wide shelter-in-place order. We citizens all retreated into our small over-priced apartments, and ordered our groceries, catching up on Netflix shows in-between our zoom meetings. As weeks fell away, people became anxious for the country, and the world to come out of hiding. Slowly the isolation and fear began to erode people’s health, mentally, physically, and economically. Within that perfect storm of angst and doubt, came the release of videos documenting the state-sponsored, brutal murder of George Floyd on May 25th.
His murder followed the unjust killing of Breonna Taylor, and the murder of Ahmaud Arbery, among countless other state-sponsored and sanctioned fatal or brutal attacks on people of color. In the past, public outrage had been quelled by the ever-quickening pace of life. Prolonged protests died as their constituents were made to continue swimming in the rapids known as Capitalist America. Due to Covid-19, this time was different. With the economy shut down, millions of people felt that familiar rage, which had been burning below the surface, break free and explode outward. Across the US and then the world, people are still congregated in mass- risking their lives in the face of a global pandemic, standing against a system that devalues and enslaves people of color every day. Millions of people are risking their lives against not only the virus, but also rampant police brutality, to yell an obvious truth into the faces of those who would argue otherwise: Black Lives Matter. I am proud to be one of the many who stand as a part of the movement. I am equally proud to be part of a generation, which on the whole, rallies against these systems of hate and oppression.
I have also been made depressed by those in my past who continue to turn a blind eye toward the struggles and inequalities found in our nation and our world. I am disgusted by those who still support a “leader” who strives to further divide the country during a pandemic. People who support a man more interested in deploying military might against his citizens than to stand against foreign agents placing bounties on the heads of our military-servicepeople. I, like most who have been outspoken about BLM, have lost the respect, love, and friendship from these people from my past. As sad as it is to lose them, I can no longer reconcile friendship with those who do not support this movement. I cannot compartmentalize their hate for others in service of their love for me.
Social Media has turned into a battleground between common sense and the onslaught of right-wing stupidity. Yes, the Corona Virus is real- no it is not the common flu- nor is it an elaborate hoax designed to hurt the orange-man. Yes, calling it the “China -virus” or the “Kung-flu” is hateful and racist, and you should be ashamed and demand better when leaders do so. Yes, you should wear a mask and socially distance yourself, regardless of what your pastor, coach, friend, or Commander in Chief says or does. And yes, the most obvious of all common sense claims: BLACK LIVES MATTER. Yes, white privilege exists. Yes, our country is founded on a racist system that places an unfair disadvantage on people of color. No, that does not mean that white people have all had easy lives, there are many layers to privilege. The onslaught of misinformation and anti-intellectual trash on social media seems to be in constant contrast against the overwhelming quantity of live-stream news documenting crisis after crisis.
Among all of this upheaval and activism, it has felt inappropriate to start a blog based solely on my artistic practice. This is an important time in the world, and distraction has destroyed movements before. This is not a moment we can afford to lose. We need to continue to mobilize and participate in creating a better future. A future where privilege is not erased but instead is extended to all people equally. We need to focus on becoming the kind of country we (white people) have been make-believing it to be for the last sixty years. We need real change. But we also need to express ourselves in other facets and continue living with this purpose in the meantime.
This is a marathon. We need endurance. I need endurance. So I am creating my blog. I am going to be sharing my artwork, my thoughts, and my poetry. I will do all of this alongside and concurrent with my continued support of common sense. I will continue to use my platform, and with it, my privilege, to fight the good fight until all people experience the same privileges I have been gifted as a white man.